Episode Five: A Crisis of Faith - a response to the question of Faith vs. Belief vs. Realism...

The following is a response to a question regarding a crisis of faith from a reader:

"Hi Dharma-Farmer, I'm interested to know more on your feelings on doubt in beliefs in God and Jesus. People may have not truly decided on how they truly feel. Do we just give ourselves compassion and how do we evaluate our true beliefs and have confidence in them?" - Rebecca Parker

Hi Rebecca, great question! Ok, firstly, if any of this applies to you, then I am sorry to hear that. It's something many people struggle with... The "what if I'm wrong" thought lingers for years... It's supposed to...! Naturally, I can only speak from my own experience, as always. These are just my thoughts, and please bear in mind that I am a Buddhist. However, I was brought up as a lapsed Catholic, if you catch my drift, and although never baptised, as a child I was told about Jesus in school and just assumed that him and God etc were unquestionable realities. When I got to about 10, I remember starting to ask my parents questions when I found out about other religions in the world: I grew up in the mono-culture of rural Wales and actually didn't see other faiths around at all until I moved to a city at 18. Anyway, my point is we all have our own conditioning, and we all need to work within it's context.

I figure that we are the product of our conditioning, and if someone has tried to condition you to believe a certain thing, and then corked it in with a bunch of fear, then this is the result. I think it is the fear bred into people that that creates this doubt and stops them leaving theism behind. In light of this fear and doubt, showing yourself understanding, kindness and compassion in whatever you do is the foundation for a happy and meaningful life, and never more so than when putting yourself under the 'me'croscope...

I have two question for anyone who is suffering a crisis of faith:

1) Do you think that if they hadn't used fear tactics, you would be having these problems?

2) If you hadn't ever heard of the Bible, or Jesus, or God, and you just happened to pick up on it later in life, perhaps around the water cooler in work or at the bus stop, do you recon you would believe it?

Seriously, I am not trying to upset people, but they are very important questions. 

But just so we are clear about the difference between knowledge, faith and belief....

To KNOW something is to assume it to be correct, empirically, based on the information you have gathered or the results of scientific hypothesis and enquiry. e.g. I know that the bin men last collected my recycling on a Friday, because I was there when it happened.

A BELIEF is something we accept as true without any way of verifying it empirically. It is something we have to accept blindly, on authority, because someone else told us. e.g. I believe that the next time they visit to collect the bins, it too will be on a Friday, BUT I CAN'T PROOVE IT because it hasn't happened yet.

FAITH on the other hand is an EMOTIONAL response to that belief, the flip-side to our INTELLECTUAL suppositions. I would suggest, at it's highest level, it is a conviction, often the response of something Ultimate us in to something which is Ultimate and True in the universe. I think it is sensible to have faith in those things which can be verified directly in our own experience. e.g. I have FAITH that the bin men will not hurl my bins through the front windows when they have finished with them, because I trust them to be professional, and thus sleep easy on Thursday night. We can see faith as part of our emotional core, whereas a belief can only be accepted intellectually. When one no longer keeps the other in balance then we suffer an existential crisis, a crisis of faith, and it is really painful and horrible for most people. I hope the following example illustrates the differences between faith, belief and rationalism.

Imagine it is raining outside. 

- If I think that God will miraculously protect me from getting wet in the rain, then that is a matter of belief, as well as being irrational and counter to my past experiences.
- If I rationalise that it will pass, and feel ok about it, that is a matter of faith. I know that rain doesn't last forever and I take comfort in this fact.
- If decide to pray to a God (whomever that may be) to change the weather, and it stops raining, then it doesn't necessarily mean that God has intervened, because I KNOW that rain stops eventually. I can't logically deduce that God exists on this basis, it is still just an unverifiable belief.

Doubt is a horrible place to be, of that I am certain, as it were. A friend once said that he thought that being trapped in a state of indecision was worse than making the wrong decision, because doubt paralyses you and hinders you in a far more all-pervading, ongoing way. If you make the wrong call, and you were acting from a place of love and kindness towards yourself and others, then at least your conscience will be clear, and you can dust yourself of, apologise if necessary, and make other plans... Just don't allow yourself to slip back into doubt! If you are stuck in a rut of indecision, stop pointlessly flooring the mental accelerator, at least. If you are going nowhere, admit it, and stop the engine for a second to think. Maybe get out of the car for a breath of fresh air and clear your head, both metaphorically and literally speaking? 

Maybe ask yourself what elements of your life you can verify in your own experience, and go with those, trying not to worry too much about unverifiable belief systems. Those people who pedal certainty are not the ones to be trusted... Those who offer provisional hypothesis rather than an absolute certainty, those who bring to the party an invitation to live without fear, to make your own choices for yourself without coercion or threat of damnation... Those are the ones to listen to. I don't want to go to a heaven that has to bribe people. It's like trying to legislate basic human decency - being a good person is a reward unto itself, surely? Besides, any being powerful enough to create the heavens, stars and the jaw-dropping majesty of the universe is going to understand why you made certain choices, in particular why you chose to live a secular life of kindness and responsibility. He is telepathic, after all...

For me, absolving yourself of all responsibility and giving your life over to the service of someone who is potentially fictitious is a problem. You should live a life of gratitude and kindness, for the benefit of all, not just your own desires.

I can't picture God saying "...well, you were generous and considerate for 78 years, you followed your heart and you developed both wisdom and compassion towards all beings... But you failed to obey my messenger-boy son unquestioningly, so FUCK YOU! Enjoy the lake of fire!" Sorry, but I just don't see it happening. Also, what an insult to God, assigning to him the petty and all-too-human attributes of jealously and envy, vengeance and petulance? Seriously! 

5000-2000 years ago, people lived in a terrifying world with unexplainable phenomena such as natural disasters and famine. Lightning, thunder, the seasons changing, even death; all these things would have been unexplainable and threatening. These occurrences served to undermine primitive man's very being, and it's understandable that he should try and make sense of it all. He developed poly-theism (many Gods) to cover all the things that made him feel small, scared, alone and insignificant. Early man needed a friend in a hostile world. As we evolved (sorry fundamentalists) we began to understand more of the fundamental nature of existence, the cosmos, and about the line between fantasy and reality. At the time of Jesus, sea monsters were considered a legitimate hazard, for example.

The Old Testament, is a profoundly ancient Jewish text compiled by a semi-nomadic desert tribe, in which we find talking animals (snakes, donkeys etc) and an inattentive God who relies on angels to let him know what is going on in the world. For most of it, God just mercilessly slaughters 1000's of people who piss him off. All this wrathful vengeance and smiting is tiring work though, so fast forward through human history since then and we see organised theism, be it Christianity, Judaism or Islam carrying on this tradition on God's behalf. Nice one guys, cheers for that. Together, they are collectively responsible for the deaths, persecution and torture of MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of people over, all because of their own groundless beliefs. If I was in any way affiliated with a political group or a social club that was party to so much hatred, murder, bigotry, corruption, racism, xenophobia and homophobia, not to mention child abuse, I would terminate my membership immediately and never go back... I like to think any rational adult would do the same. Why should religions be allowed to get away with it?

Richard Dawkins promoting the 2011 campaign, which sparked outrage. Note, the message is a provisional one...

Religious certainty is a warning flag for me... Taxi drivers telling me that they "know" the Qur'an/Bible is the word of God because "it says so in the Qur'an/Bible!" Circular logic doesn't work for me, sorry. When a theist says to me "you can't prove God doesn't exist", it is only because they have created a God which is beyond the reaches of reasoned thought, evidence and proof. How convenient is that? I will probably expand on what in known as "the burden of proof" in another article but look it up - it's fascinating! 

With regards to the afterlife, I personally worship in the church of "I Don't Know", as it were. In general, I have a few provisional beliefs about life, but I am finding that increasingly they are being replaced with actual experience. I know that if I set aside some time (even just five minutes) every morning to meditate, it sets the tone for the day, and I usually have a great day. When I don't, I usually just have an average day. I know that if I do this for a week or so, I generally feel pretty awesome about the world, really robust and enthusiastic. I also know, for a FACT, that my actions of body, speech and mind have consequences, directly or indirectly on me and those around me. I don't have to take it on trust from an external authority. It is not a belief - I can verify it for myself. In my world, faith (or 'confidence' as I prefer to call it) is grounded in the tried and tested experience of everyday real life. I'm not saying there isn't more to the world than what meets the senses, but the here and now is the only place we can realise our dreams and aspirations. It is the only place we will ever have, the eternal now...

I know for a fact that kindness generally leads to kindness, and I see clearly that that living with greater awareness is beneficial to myself and everyone around me. I want to live my life in a way which encourages me to fulfil my duties as a human being to create with awareness. Above all else, I have an unshakable and concrete believe in the transformative power of Love. Not romantic Love, but platonic love, humanistic love, unbiased love. Beyond that, to quote "Manuel" in Fawlty Towers... "I know nothing!" 

The really insidious thing about the belief in a creator God is that is absolves you not only of all your sins but more worryingly, of all responsibility. I strongly feel that it is time to take that responsibility back! If not now, then when? It's time to choose people... Is it possible to have a "virgin birth"? Did Jesus rise from the dead after three days? Did Mohammed literally fly into heaven at the end of his life? Is God watching you RIGHT NOW? Is he/she/it listening to your every word? Or does this all sound a bit far fetched, a bit paranoid? Are these a bunch of myths and fairy-tales designed to control people through ethical commandments, keep the cash rolling in and the balance of power tipped in the favour of the various groups which espouse such beliefs? I personally have no problem with people who say they believe in a God of some sort and find inspiration in these wacky tales ("Christ's Excellent Adventure/Bogus Journey" etc), whilst conceding that they aren't supposed to be understood literally. They are allegories, archetypal stories, found in every belief system. I find the film "Die Hard" inspiring and deeply rousing. However, as a rational adult, it doesn't leave me thinking I can meet John McClane, or have the right to judge people for preferring other Bruce Willis films. Like theistic religions, they are all basically the same anyway.

Could it be that people hate to admit the sad truth of life - that most of us are not destined for Glory, riches, or power, fame or even infamy? That we by and large live good, humble but basically average existences whereby we tick some boxes, miss others, consume, breed, consume some more and then die? I think it is up to us to develop the capacity to be inspired, to retune and reacquaint ourselves with the eye-popping, jaw-dropping wonder of existence and the plethora of choices this world affords. 'Meaning' in life is a matter of perception. Could it be time to change yours?

So, what are my reflections after all this?

If you are experiencing doubt, if you are beginning to question your beliefs and think for yourself as an adult, than surely the middle way in life is the best? Reductionism, reducing the world to the material, ignores the 'magical', transcendental aspect of existence in the 21st century, as well as the emotional  dimension of our lives. Moreover, it cannot account for love. Literalism on the other hand, reading Stone-Age texts as factually accurate is to ignore your experience of the real world and the intellectual side of your being. So split the difference perhaps? Maybe place your heart, with a proud confidence, on that which can be tested, and take full responsibility for your own destiny, as scary as that might be. Just remember that impermanence means mutual connectivity, our shared humanity, which leads to love!

Getting back to your feet in the wake of adversity, dusting yourself down, and reflecting on the best way to move forward doesn't need an external supra-natural force, it just needs a bit of emotional robustness, and a "never say die" attitude will always inspire those we leave behind once we are gone, ironically. Standing tall and proud as a wonderful, unique, fallible human being, and turning to face the new dawn with a heart refreshed and an iron resolve to make the most of every precious day of our short lives - that is what it means to be truly alive, and I have absolute faith that living with the indescribable wonder that gratitude gifts us is something that we are all capable of, irrespective of our beliefs...

And hopefully that is something we can all agree on! 

xx