Episode Three: How do you sleep at night? - 5 Simple and Easy Tips to get a better night's sleep.

Circa 2006... This is NOT what a good night's sleep looks like... This game was the band's drunken version of
'Buckaroo'.  I don't remember this being a particularly good morning either...

Do you find yourself constantly tired or having trouble sleeping? Do you repeatedly wake up in the night, fully alert, for no discernible reason? I do, all of the above, and it sucks! It really sucks! If you are like me and sometimes find sumber-related issues are affecting your life then it's worth remembering that much like schizophrenia, you are never alone. A recent study by the World Sleep Foundation in the US discovered that there are over 108 million people 'over the pond' with sleeping disorders, costing their economy between $90 billion and £110 billion a year.* It's stupid money, literally inconceivable sums! That's just the diagnosed cases that are being counted by the way, and the actual figure could be twice as many... And that's just in the USA, and although they can't be accurate, most studies and organisations estimate that up to 45% of all people in the world are currently living with a periodic sleeping disorder of some sort. Thats means that as we speak, there are approximately 4billion people walking around with odd socks, inexpertly-applied makeup and mis-buttoned shirts, or the Third-World equivalent of putting their milk in the cupboard and their cornflakes in the microwave. That's approximately 4 billion people every day running an increased risk of loosing their jobs, having a heart attack or nodding off at the wheel, leading to brief but lively excursions into oncoming traffic. 

I hate to admit it, but it's happened to me several times over the years and I'm sure all drivers know the shock of realising your previous few hundred yards have been traversed with closed eyes. It's a scarrier thought knowing that you, your best friend or a family member could be tomorrow wiped off the face of the planet for the sake of someone's work (your own, perhaps?), playing online games or You-Tubing "kittens in period costume" until 1am. In the USA alone, over 2,000 people die every year (that's six today, six tomorrow etc) because of sleep-deficiency-related accidents. Of course, these statistics are just the instances where the OFFICIAL cause of death was recorded as such, and in many cases families often do not disclose sleep deprivation to avoid being sued by innocent victims or their surviving relatives. The actual figure could be twice or three times higher. 

Even the most cursory glance over the sleeping-disorder statistics is enough to keep you up at night, ironically. Let us be clear: It's killing thousands of people every year, directly or indirectly, and in most cases the problems can be easily be treated with a few simple lifestyle changes and a bit of discipline. Once the damage is done, sadly, there's no going back. A close friend once confessed that he had been involved in a fatal collision, some twenty plus years ago in Spain. He wasn't in anyway to blame, and the suspicion was that the victim had nodded off at the wheel, but it still haunts him to this day. Sometimes, the 'survivor guilt' feels worse, not better with time.

I used to need very little sleep. As a musician in my 20's it was completely normal to play a gig on a Thursday night, get three hours of inebriated shut-eye, and battle through a day of work on Friday. With all the gigging, partying, rockin' and a-rolling over the years, I have been awake for over 48 hours on more occasions than I care to recall, but luckily the majesty of a sunrise is rarely lost on me. That being said, when I flew out to India last February, I was up for over 67 hours. I really don't recommend it! A new and alien continent is not the place to start spontaneously hallucinating and giggling at the ATM. It was a new personal best, but scant consolation if I have a stroke before I'm 50. 

Essentially, the two variables leading to sleep deprivation are quality and quantity. Insomnia, both where you cant sleep and where you wake up repeatedly in the night, is very common, as is poor quality sleep caused by distraction, digestion, sleep apnea (where you stop breathing for up to a minute, sometimes 20-50 times an hours!) and 'restless limb' syndrome. 

Many people with sleeping disorders are also simultaneously dealing with other contributing health problems, such as alcohol/drug addiction or obesity in the case of sleep apnea, and as we all know, a lack of sleep makes any underlying or even unrelated problems feel infinitely more overwhelming and raw. Sleep deprivation causes depression, social anxiety, feelings of separation, weight loss, poor diet, premature ageing, and can in some unfortunate cases, kill. Clearly our collective problems are more serious than back-to-front trousers, perplexingly poor co-ordination or mysteriously vanishing house keys... Winston Churchill famously declared that he needed less than 4 hours sleep a night, but then again, Maggie Thatcher made the same claim, so clearly the link between long hours and productive, rational though is a questionable and tenuous one at best.

Forced to work well past retirement age, the exploitation of the elderly, frail and vulnerable should not be tolerated!
We all need sleep... Some more than others, clearly. Top marks to Charles for locking his heals at least...

But why this propensity to neglect such a vitally important aspect of our lives? Why do we often feel like we are not 'ready' for bed at 11pm? The chances are that you are not regularly getting the recommended eight hours a night advocated by most doctors for a normal adult, and any parent will be unsurprised to learn that on average 10-12 hours is required for a teenager. Evidently, growth spurts and the development of secondary pubic hair is a tiring business!  Recently, scientific studies indicate that people who meditate are systematically rewiring their brains to function more quickly, efficiently and thus require less recovery time at night but even so, why such a general disinclination towards horizontal restitution? Why such unrest at night? Why is it such an endemic problem, and on a global scale? 

The author and thinker, Sangharakshita, once wondered if that sense of unrest was due to a deep-rooted and subconscious lack of fulfilment in our hearts, the subtle sense that we still haven't quite been satisfied by our day. For me it is usually the uncomfortably feeling that I am missing that one last experience which will make my day feel complete and worthwhile. I know this all too well... "Maybe one last beer, joint and episode of 'Family Guy' will make me feel tired?" I tell myself.  Yeah, right! I'm doing it now, at 4am, desperately trying to wring out the very last drops of potential from 'the day'... And I wonder why I can't switch off at night. So on an immediate, practical level, what can be done about it?

Generally speaking, small change soon adds up into a huge difference in our quality of life: even a road-side nap of merely 15 minutes can increase a driver's alertness by up to 80%. If we are struggling with exhaustion and we are able to fit in a daytime nap, we should aim for 90 minutes as this is the length of the average sleep cycle from the preliminary stages all the way through to R.E.M, where all the important 'deep sleep' occurs. Pot smokers suffer particularly here as THC (the chemical that gets you 'high') is also the same one which inhibits R.E.M sleep**: Even if you are out cold for 8 hours, if you smoked a fat joint before bed, you can feel like you've only gotten the equivalent of 4 hours quality rest. In light of this, we can see that it is not the weed per se that screws up so many pot smokers, but weeks, months and even years without a good night's rest. Trust me, you'd be paranoid too if you hadn't slept properly for 3 years. Again, I know from experience. It's just awful!

Sleep undoubtably affects our emotions and visa versa. A prolonged lack of it also leads to erratic behaviour, high blood pressure (causing heart attacks, strokes and aneurisms) and at the very least, emotional fragility and impaired cognitive prowess. So, with our collective wellbeing in mind, I've compiled a 'Top Five Tips' list from looking back over my 20+ years of living with a sleeping disorder, or what my mum used to call "the neon disease"- I only want to function at night. I hope that by sharing this list you will be able to save yourself a lot of hassle, have a less befuddling time of it in the morning, and hopefully never wipe a family of four off the face of the earth. That would be nice huh? It's good to set yourself little goals. Just try and see what works for you, although if you gradually put them all in place, you might be surprised how much of a difference it makes to your everyday quality of life. You owe it to yourself to at least give it a try...

Five Simple Tips to Get a Better Night's Sleep -

1. Be Prepared:

Make sure you have created the optimal conditions in your room for sleep. Common sense really...

- Ensure room setting is optimal: it should be cool, dark, quiet, and distraction free.

- Set a timer for your TV/Computer to switch off after 20 minutes or so.

- Why not unwind in hot bath an hour before?

- Do NOT listen to aggressive, energetic or high tempo music.

2. Develop a relaxing bedtime ritual:

Your childhood conditioning has by now worn off so it's up to you to exercise discipline wherever possible. A regular routine programs the mind to prepare for sleep, and certain triggers in a certain order will eventually help you 'get into that place' whereby you are ready to clamber under the duvet, or somebody else's, should you be so lucky.

- Develop a ritual and try and stick to it five to six days of the week 

- Try meditation, yoga, tai chi, brushing teeth, reading a book - or some of my longer blog posts!

- Do NOT do any work/emails photo editing an hour beforehand -  leading to "fizzy brain" syndrome!

- Count sheep/the breath back from 100 or experiment with relaxation exercises/body scans etc.

3. Be consistent and get comfy:

Get on a regular schedule if possible, and be kind to yourself,

- Set realistic times for sleeping and waking times and be consistent.

- Get comfortable: try ear plugs, mattress topper, seasonal duvets etc.

- Only use bed for sleeping (see Tip Five) and do NOT study or hang out with mates on it. This ties the bed into other activities.

4. Body, speech and mind.

The body and the mind are totally interdependent, so don't neglect one at the expense of the other.

- Try and speak calmly and kindly an hour or two beforehand. 

- If in a relationship, NEVER go to bed on a row! Agree to discuss tomorrow, and express love if poss.

- Get regular exercise - it reduces 'stress hormones' and makes you more physically tired... 

- But DON'T exercise within 2 hours of bed - adrenaline levels will be too high to sleep.

- Consider drinking camomile tea/herbal extract teas after 8pm. These have known sedative properties.

- Avoid alcohol/drugs if possible.

- Avoid caffeine/high sugar-content drinks/snacks e.g. chocolate after 8pm... Not cool at all!

- Do NOT go to bed on an empty stomach nor eat just before - digestion interrupts sleep! 

5. If all else fails... Have a Plan B!

Own the problem but don't stress. If you are lying in bed for more than 25 min, maybe get up?

- Try and wind yourself down with a boring book/yoga/meditation. Feel your energy cycling down...

- Try journaling notes for the following day, and agree with yourself to deal with it then.

- Avoid clock-watching. Its infuriating, pointless and makes me prone to clock-destroying tantrums.

- If all else fails, have a wank.

As we all know, the good news is that masturbation (or technically, speaking an orgasm) releases endorphins, the 'happy hormones'. Even if you aren't very good at it, it will still burn calories and a few hours of fruitless slapping/pounding should make you tired anyway. You can't lose! Post-coital hormones released (in men especially) tend to shut the body and brain down... You're tired, you're stressed...You have that big 'thing' on tomorrow... Why lie in your sweaty frustrated crapulence a moment longer? Why not treat yourself? Just make sure your partner doesn't wake up!

So, my reflection after all of this:
For me, sleep is the opposite of alcohol: It's free and it makes you feel great! A lack of sleep can seriously affect your day, your decisions and ultimately your life, as well as the lives of others. By taking responsibility for our own conditioning, by getting into good habits and looking after your body and mind in equal measure, you can quickly turn those sullen frowns upside down. The bags under your eyes will vanish, the world will seem a brighter place and you will feel more robust and quick-witted. Your self-esteem will go up, you might even be able to work up the courage to finally ask that cute temp in accounts for a drink before the boss does. If not... It's always good to have a plan B... 

And that's something we can all agree on! 

Sweet dreams - The Dharma-Farmer xx

Citation:

*http://www.statisticbrain.com/sleeping-disorder-statistics/
**http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-teenage-mind/200906/marijuana-sleep-and-dreams
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